Where Healing Whispers and Warriors Rise

Living life after a cancer diagnosis often feels like walking through life with a constant weight on your back...even on the "good" days.  Healing is slow and frustrating and everyday can feel like a test of patience, courage and endurance. 

But today something unexpected happened, an aha moment when I realized I was truly and simply feeling a sense of joy and peace. I became  aware that I felt like the old me again. Not the me wrapped in fear and buried under the what ifs, but the me from before cancer. The me before cancer tried to claim every corner of my thoughts. For a few precious moments, I didn’t think about cancer at all. I was simply living freely, lightly, and without fear. I wasn’t sure healing was even possible. I didn’t know what it would look like or if it would ever find me.

It has been 5 years since my diagnosis, I have moved through life holding onto a tiny glimmer of hope that someday, somehow, I might feel even a little bit of peace again. I know this moment didn’t come out of nowhere. It has come from making a conscious effort everyday of pushing forward when it felt impossible, leaning in when I wanted to retreat, fighting when I felt exhausted, and working toward some sense of normalcy.

Healing takes patience. It takes persistence. It takes effort. And above all, it takes time. Today was proof of that. Proof that all the effort, courage and days spent choosing to show up instead of giving up mattered. So don’t give up. Don’t give in. These moments of clarity, peace, and “you again” do come. Slowly at first, but over time, they grow, last longer and return more often.

Today reminded me that the old me isn't gone. She's still here, waiting patiently beneath the noise and fear.  And with time, persistence and a whole lot of heart, she will keep finding her way back.